November 29

November 29. 3:30pm

I rang the doorbell of the CCCL, and was let in by the nice lady at the front desk. I said “Salaam,” and made my way up the staircase.

Just as I’d started up the very first flight, Badrdine, my “bro”, bounded down the second flight.
“Bro I’m so glad to see you ”
“My sis,” he said as he extended his right arm to hug me. “How are you?”
“Kulshee mezyaan (everything is good),” I responded.
“How is ISP?”
“It’s great.”
“You’re making progress.”
“Yes.”
“I can see it in your eyes.”

‘You’re making progress.’ I wish I knew. I guess I’m making progress on my ISP, but as I write more and the days remaining in this research period decrease, I feel like I’m falling behind.

It’s almost harder being in Morocco now than it has ever been. I had awful boughts of “let me leave now ” all throughout September and October, but through them, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere for a while. I just learned to become part of Morocco.

Now, I am finally happy living here. I passed my friends Abdullah and Yassine while walking to the CCCL, and I was so glad to see them. Almost immediately after I entered the medina, I ran into Fati. I love seeing my Moroccan friends, because it makes me feel like I really do live here. Like I could belong in Morocco. I’m a regular at several cafes. I don’t even have to order in one of them; the waiter just brings me a café au lait.

I know my way around Rabat. I know the best grocery stores; I know where to buy expensive and cheap clothes. I know where to get the least expensive meal, the best coffee, the most amazing gelato. Hilton Park is my place to run, to walk, to exercise, to think.

I’ve run countless miles in Rabat. It’s home.

And I’m leaving my new home in 16 days. I miss Kentucky, but I’m already dreading the day when I leave and won’t see Badr, Nawal, Nabil, Rachid, Doha, Fati, Brahim, Carly, Zainab, Ikbal, and Asmaa... if not for ever, at least for a long time. Even when I return to Morocco in May, things won’t be as they are now. I might be setting myself up for a huge disappointment in May. I might expect too much out of my visit. I’ll never be able to recreate my SIT experience.

I’m determined to enjoy my last two weeks in Morocco. I just have to push the sadness of leaving Morocco out of my head and enjoy it while I’m here. Now.

“I’m alive,” he said to the boy, as they ate a bunch of dates one night, with no fires and no moon. “When I’m eating, that’s all I think about. If I’m on the march, I just concentrate on marching. If I have to fight, it will be just as good a day to die as any other.
“Because I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man. You’ll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living right now.”
The Alchemist, 85. Paolo Coelho