My time abroad is quickly coming to an end, and the minutes are ticking away at this over-priced internet cafe in Athens. 2.40 euro for an hour. Breaks the bank. I can't wait to come home to the land of free wireless at coffee shops, and inexpensive wireless in my apartment. And free internet at school.
I've been strangely homesick at times on this trip. This is not characteristic of me at all. I haven't been homesick since 5th grade at summer camp. I've tried to place my finger on the reason for the homesickness. I do miss my friends. I miss the comforts of my luxurious life in the US, I miss speaking in my own language, I miss my own food, my own bed. Most of all, though---and I knew I might feel this way---I miss not knowing someone everywhere I go. I was always with someone from Transy wherever I went, so I was never truly alone, but the entire time I was here, I was a nameless tourist who came to spend money, see the sights, and disregard the life that is lived in Turkey and Greece.
We raced from site to site, ruin to ruin, church to church, all in a posh air conditioned bus, with tour guides, good food, and digital cameras. And everyday, our bus drove past young children walking to school, old men sitting in dusty, run down cafes, women working in the market, beggars sitting on sidewalks, holding up cardboard signs and plastic cups they had dug out of the garbage. And it bothered me. I've justified, I think, myself being a tourist. I do want to see the beauty of the world. I want to travel and see the wonders of this planet. But I do not want to dismiss the life that is lived in the countries I visit. I wish I had taken the time to learn basic Turkish and Greek. I learned the basic phrases of the two languages, and put them into use, in no time. It wouldn't have been that big of a problem to have learned how to conjugate 5-10 useful verbs, how to carry on a basic 'getting to know you' conversation. But no. I didn't have the foresight. I didn't think about it. I was too involved in myself come the end of the semester, too excited about just going abroad. And I wasn't excited enough, or forethinking enough, to realize that I was going to encounter vibrant and diverse cultures, and due to the language barrier, much of their beauty would just pass me by.
So, I prepare to leave Greece, and I am regretful. I had quite a journey while here. Read a lot, wrote a lot, learned a lot, deepened friendships and strengthened bonds. But this trip could have been so much more. I regret that I didn't work to make it 'that much more'. I regret that I was so self-involved in the preparation to leave that I didn't learn ways to communicate with the people I would meet here.
The homesickness came, I think, because I had no means by which to make these places home. In Lexington, I know at least one person, everywhere I go. I know people, and I can communicate with them and find out how their lives are. In Greece and Turkey, I could order food, say hello, please and thank you. Basically, I could get what I needed to get by, and didn't have the means necessary to find out who these people were that I was encountering. I have no feeling of home here in Greece and Turkey. And that's not because it's not my home. I am a citizen of the world. The world is my home. I have no feeling of home because I, for the first time in my life (that I've recognized it), could not even begin to know people. If I am going to truly be a citizen of the world, I need to step it up, and I have to immerse myself in the cultures I visit. I regret not fully knowing the beauty of these cultures, because of my ignorance.
I'm very excited about starting Arabic lessons when I get back to Lexington. While I was originally worried that I'd get homesick while in Morocco for a semester, now I don't think I will--at least not as much as Turkey and Greece. I'm going to work my hardest to become a beginning Arabic speaker, so that my skills improve while I'm in Morocco. I will do my best to create a family and a home for myself while I'm abroad. I will get to know the people. I will become part of Morocco, to the best of my Western ability. And by creating a home and a family in Morocco, I won't feel outside. I won't be a tourist.
I hate being an ignorant tourist.
I'm so ready to come home. This trip has been wonderful, and there will be several blog postings regarding my travels going up after a few days at home. I've got loads of pictures, and videos, and journal entries to post. But, I'm ready for home, and ready to begin again. As Dr. Jones said at our closing ceremony tonight, this is just the beginning.
This is just the beginning. The beginning of bringing the sacred into the world. The beginning of living more fully, and striving to be fulfilled through loving others, in this unfulfilled world.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Releasing some steam in Athens
5/13 4:15pm (Greek time)
Things I do not like:
(1) Adults who think they know everything, and tell me that they're proud of me when I have said something or learned something. They have years and experience, but they have just as much learning to do as every other human being alive, young or old. They know no more than I do, and I know nothing.
(2) When someone claims that Judaism -- or any religion -- is a step backward. Backward from what? From your right, correct, "only" path? What does that mean? Since when did you purchase God and Truth? When did you gain ownership of the divine? I want no part of that--not when it means my words will be steeped in bigotry and self righteousness.
(3) When someone generalizes an entire people based upon knowledge of a few.
(4) When someone decides that they know who I am or what I'm like, and assumes things that may or may not be true. Don't encapsulate me. Don't try to decide who I am. I don't even know. What is "self", anyway?
(5) When a minister ignores beggars in the street--- precious people stumbling about with pleading, tearful eyes, mumbling "parakalo, parakalo" (please please, excuse me), weary from walking, embarassed and humiliated, starving and hopeless. If only I had money to give them all. It is jarring--abrasive--to see a minister brush them off. These people are hungry, and you turn them away.
(6) I do not like being told that my "brand" of Christianity is wrong, or that my spiritual life is misguided. What gives anyone the right to tell me that my relationship with God is wrong, and worse---that it's a relationship with the devil? How hurtful can a person be?
(7) hatred, bigotry, anger, misunderstanding, close-mindedness, stubbornness, ignorance, apathy, lack of compassion, unwillingness to see similarities to other people, unwillingness to love.
(8) The fact that I daily embody one or more of the characteristics above.
I pray that I grow to be more loving, more compassionate, and more human.
Good night.
Things I do not like:
(1) Adults who think they know everything, and tell me that they're proud of me when I have said something or learned something. They have years and experience, but they have just as much learning to do as every other human being alive, young or old. They know no more than I do, and I know nothing.
(2) When someone claims that Judaism -- or any religion -- is a step backward. Backward from what? From your right, correct, "only" path? What does that mean? Since when did you purchase God and Truth? When did you gain ownership of the divine? I want no part of that--not when it means my words will be steeped in bigotry and self righteousness.
(3) When someone generalizes an entire people based upon knowledge of a few.
(4) When someone decides that they know who I am or what I'm like, and assumes things that may or may not be true. Don't encapsulate me. Don't try to decide who I am. I don't even know. What is "self", anyway?
(5) When a minister ignores beggars in the street--- precious people stumbling about with pleading, tearful eyes, mumbling "parakalo, parakalo" (please please, excuse me), weary from walking, embarassed and humiliated, starving and hopeless. If only I had money to give them all. It is jarring--abrasive--to see a minister brush them off. These people are hungry, and you turn them away.
(6) I do not like being told that my "brand" of Christianity is wrong, or that my spiritual life is misguided. What gives anyone the right to tell me that my relationship with God is wrong, and worse---that it's a relationship with the devil? How hurtful can a person be?
(7) hatred, bigotry, anger, misunderstanding, close-mindedness, stubbornness, ignorance, apathy, lack of compassion, unwillingness to see similarities to other people, unwillingness to love.
(8) The fact that I daily embody one or more of the characteristics above.
I pray that I grow to be more loving, more compassionate, and more human.
Good night.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Views of Lexington
Innocence
intent
Jump!
Illuminate the night
Fiona
See you all soon! Good luck at the Queen City Feis!
Reminders of home
(1) my big sister Charlene and me! We always have to have a kissy picture. :)
(2) Mom, Elaine, Mrs. Collins and me!
(3) my friend Tyler and me
Review of Turkey, and beginning of Greece
Hello friends and family!
Shwew--- I finally figured out how to get on my blog! I couldn't remember my password, and it's been like pulling teeth trying to figure out how to access my blog.
This is my journal entry after we left Turkey--- hope you enjoy it!
5/8 2:30 pm the port of Samos, on the Aegean.
Right now I'm sitting on the sidewalk in Samos, two feet away from the waters of the Aegean. If I scooted a little closer, I could put my feet in the water. The sun is high overhead; it is warm and very comfortable. A light breeze is coming off the water, which sometimes makes it chilly enough for a light jacket - but as soon as the jacket is on, the sun warms me again, and I have to return to bare shoulders. Pigeons are strutting and cooing all around me; my nose has finally accustomed itself to the smell of rotting fish from the tiny, colorful fishing boats. When the breeze comes, I hardly smell it at all anymore.
Samos looks like a postcard. When you see postcards of American coasts, it's hit or miss whether the city really looks that way. Not so here. The sea is blue, the homes are all white or a bright pastel, and the roods are a faded brick red. The sky is a bright cornflower blue. Greek postcards do not lie: false advertising isn't a concept in the Greek tourist industry.
Samos is only the beginning of Greece - but still I feel as though I'm not done with Turkey. I have t stop myself from saying "Merhaba!" (hello) or Tesekkur ederim (thank you). Turkish - well, the few phrases I know - was starting to become natural. I think I got the accent down, too, because several Turks asked me if I was Turkish, too.
Turkey is a country of breathtaking beauty and startling antiquity. I feel stupid and lazy for having been so ignorant of it. I very much want to return and experience the people and the culture. The ruins were magnificent, but the best experience I had in Turkey was sitting at a plastic table on the patio of a family owned restaurant in Kusadasi, watching the four-year-old son run around yelling "best kebab!" and tormenting his sister with farting sounds made by squeezing the air out of a white balloon. Little boys will be little boys, no matter where you go.
While I was in Turkey, I:
(1) listened to lectures and took notes in the Pergamum gymnasium; the necropolis (City of the Dead) of Hierapolis; the theatre of Miletus; the church of Priene; and the ruins of Ephesus, overlooking the temple of Artemis and the bouleterion.
(2) Heard:
"Blue eyes tell no lies. Blue eyes take me to Paradise," from a street peddler in the market outside Ephesus.
"You are a Turkish delight."----street peddlers are relentless.
and
"If you break the heart of a friend, it doesn't matter hwo much you pray." from Yildirim, our tour guide.
(3) Fell in love with Yildirim, who invented a new slang phrase:
"You're dragging my leg." (he got "pulling my leg" a little bit wrong.... and now we've been saying "you're dragging my leg" ever since we left Turkey)
(4) Listened to countless muezzins (prayer callers) fill the air with praise to God, calling the faithful to prayer.
(5) Visited the cave of St. Paul, an archaeological site in the hills overlooking ancient Ephesus, which is barred to the public. We got special permission to visit. The walls of the cave are covered with 2nd century paintings of Paul, Thecla (a female follower of Paul), Thecla's mother, and the 11 disciples. I can't describe the feeling I had in the cave....
(6) I ordered food in Turkish and was asked if I was Turkish
(7) touched the grafitti menorah on the steps of the Library of Celsus in Ephesus
(8) stood on several peaks, and tried to take in the magnificence of each panoramic view (Turkey is incredible)
(9) marveled at Turkey's mountainous topography
(10) made the theatre of Miletus my playground, jumping like a goat (to quote Yildirim) from step to step, boulder to boulder. I ran through the archways, sped up the stairs, stood atop the ancient Byzantine fortress. I loved the boundless energy that pushed my forward, the excitement that kept me going. I felt like a kid and like an explorer and knew that I woould always be happy because of God, nature, and me.
(11) Wondered about the lives of the shopkeepers, street peddlers, and wandering violinists. How did they live? Did they eat enough? Could they do anything other than sell long-stem roses, laser pointers, and baked goods? Did they ever sell any at all, and what would happen to them if they didn't make a sale? I pray they don't go hungry.
Now I sit in Samos, toes near the Aegean. To my right sits my friend David, studying my Greek phrase book. To my left a man has tethered his boat to the cement dock/sidewalk, and is unraveling the knots in his fishing nets. I am enjoying the breeze, sitting awestruck, eating figs and apricots that I bought at a nearby market.
life is amazing. Friends are my sustenance and I am so thankful for being me.
Allahu akbar.
God is great.
(I have to leave the internet cafe now, but a recent update: I'm in Athens, and spent the day exploring the ancient Agora, the Parthenon and Acropolis. After the Acropolis, friends and I wandered the back roads for four hours, finally finding our hotel again. Getting lost has never been so fun!)
Shwew--- I finally figured out how to get on my blog! I couldn't remember my password, and it's been like pulling teeth trying to figure out how to access my blog.
This is my journal entry after we left Turkey--- hope you enjoy it!
5/8 2:30 pm the port of Samos, on the Aegean.
Right now I'm sitting on the sidewalk in Samos, two feet away from the waters of the Aegean. If I scooted a little closer, I could put my feet in the water. The sun is high overhead; it is warm and very comfortable. A light breeze is coming off the water, which sometimes makes it chilly enough for a light jacket - but as soon as the jacket is on, the sun warms me again, and I have to return to bare shoulders. Pigeons are strutting and cooing all around me; my nose has finally accustomed itself to the smell of rotting fish from the tiny, colorful fishing boats. When the breeze comes, I hardly smell it at all anymore.
Samos looks like a postcard. When you see postcards of American coasts, it's hit or miss whether the city really looks that way. Not so here. The sea is blue, the homes are all white or a bright pastel, and the roods are a faded brick red. The sky is a bright cornflower blue. Greek postcards do not lie: false advertising isn't a concept in the Greek tourist industry.
Samos is only the beginning of Greece - but still I feel as though I'm not done with Turkey. I have t stop myself from saying "Merhaba!" (hello) or Tesekkur ederim (thank you). Turkish - well, the few phrases I know - was starting to become natural. I think I got the accent down, too, because several Turks asked me if I was Turkish, too.
Turkey is a country of breathtaking beauty and startling antiquity. I feel stupid and lazy for having been so ignorant of it. I very much want to return and experience the people and the culture. The ruins were magnificent, but the best experience I had in Turkey was sitting at a plastic table on the patio of a family owned restaurant in Kusadasi, watching the four-year-old son run around yelling "best kebab!" and tormenting his sister with farting sounds made by squeezing the air out of a white balloon. Little boys will be little boys, no matter where you go.
While I was in Turkey, I:
(1) listened to lectures and took notes in the Pergamum gymnasium; the necropolis (City of the Dead) of Hierapolis; the theatre of Miletus; the church of Priene; and the ruins of Ephesus, overlooking the temple of Artemis and the bouleterion.
(2) Heard:
"Blue eyes tell no lies. Blue eyes take me to Paradise," from a street peddler in the market outside Ephesus.
"You are a Turkish delight."----street peddlers are relentless.
and
"If you break the heart of a friend, it doesn't matter hwo much you pray." from Yildirim, our tour guide.
(3) Fell in love with Yildirim, who invented a new slang phrase:
"You're dragging my leg." (he got "pulling my leg" a little bit wrong.... and now we've been saying "you're dragging my leg" ever since we left Turkey)
(4) Listened to countless muezzins (prayer callers) fill the air with praise to God, calling the faithful to prayer.
(5) Visited the cave of St. Paul, an archaeological site in the hills overlooking ancient Ephesus, which is barred to the public. We got special permission to visit. The walls of the cave are covered with 2nd century paintings of Paul, Thecla (a female follower of Paul), Thecla's mother, and the 11 disciples. I can't describe the feeling I had in the cave....
(6) I ordered food in Turkish and was asked if I was Turkish
(7) touched the grafitti menorah on the steps of the Library of Celsus in Ephesus
(8) stood on several peaks, and tried to take in the magnificence of each panoramic view (Turkey is incredible)
(9) marveled at Turkey's mountainous topography
(10) made the theatre of Miletus my playground, jumping like a goat (to quote Yildirim) from step to step, boulder to boulder. I ran through the archways, sped up the stairs, stood atop the ancient Byzantine fortress. I loved the boundless energy that pushed my forward, the excitement that kept me going. I felt like a kid and like an explorer and knew that I woould always be happy because of God, nature, and me.
(11) Wondered about the lives of the shopkeepers, street peddlers, and wandering violinists. How did they live? Did they eat enough? Could they do anything other than sell long-stem roses, laser pointers, and baked goods? Did they ever sell any at all, and what would happen to them if they didn't make a sale? I pray they don't go hungry.
Now I sit in Samos, toes near the Aegean. To my right sits my friend David, studying my Greek phrase book. To my left a man has tethered his boat to the cement dock/sidewalk, and is unraveling the knots in his fishing nets. I am enjoying the breeze, sitting awestruck, eating figs and apricots that I bought at a nearby market.
life is amazing. Friends are my sustenance and I am so thankful for being me.
Allahu akbar.
God is great.
(I have to leave the internet cafe now, but a recent update: I'm in Athens, and spent the day exploring the ancient Agora, the Parthenon and Acropolis. After the Acropolis, friends and I wandered the back roads for four hours, finally finding our hotel again. Getting lost has never been so fun!)
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
The loves of my life
Marcie's caption for this photo was:"The Marxist, the Eco-feminist, and the Daoist."
I love Charlene and Marcie. The triple threat is unstoppable.
Had to include this picture on my blog, because it's adorable.
The second journey of 2007
Now I sit in the former "study" of my apartment. It's been transformed into a catch-all room.... bookshelves remain, holding random odds and ends, my desk is full of junk, and my luggage and travel gear are strewn all over the room. Packing for international travel has gotten easier each time I've done it; it's not even 1pm the day before we depart and I'm almost ready to leave. But....... the state of the apartment is another story.
I'll probably be awake all night cleaning the apartment and packing it up to move out (I leave my little home at the end of May!).... pulling an all-nighter will definitely help me get used to the time change (7 hours ahead, I believe). I'll get on the plane in JFK and probably sleep all the way to Istanbul.
Oh....and reminder to self: finish scholarship application for Morocco study abroad.
So much to do, in only 20 hours. I have yet to feel that I'm actually going to Turkey and Greece.
This trip is going to be incredible.
I'll probably be awake all night cleaning the apartment and packing it up to move out (I leave my little home at the end of May!).... pulling an all-nighter will definitely help me get used to the time change (7 hours ahead, I believe). I'll get on the plane in JFK and probably sleep all the way to Istanbul.
Oh....and reminder to self: finish scholarship application for Morocco study abroad.
So much to do, in only 20 hours. I have yet to feel that I'm actually going to Turkey and Greece.
This trip is going to be incredible.
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